17 Things That Will Definitely Happen When You Have A Unique Name
1. You can always tell your name is about to be announced in any social or professional situation by the look of both horror and anxiety the announcer has on their face. (Meanwhile, you are cringing.)
2. And you will interrupt them half-way through in order to save them (and yourself) from utterly demolishing your name.
3. You actually have a running list of all the different ways your name has been pronounced. And how people get to certain pronunciations is actually mind-boggling.
4. You’ve pretty much given up on coffee shops getting your name right. If it sounds like your order is being called, you take that as your cue.
5. Whenever you have to wait at a restaurant, you either give the name of someone in your group or you give a fake name.
6. Whenever you have to do anything official over the phone, you don’t even bother with saying your name, you go straight to phonetic spelling. K as in Kilo, O as in Oscar….
7. You will be questioned about your ethnicity (or nationality), language, and meanings as soon as you introduce yourself to people.
8. People will legitimately try to make small-talk with you solely based on your name. And you’ll be forced to smile your way through it all.
9. People will also insist that your name should be named after cool, popular, or weird things including but not limited to magazines, perfume, and throw rugs.
10. Some of the people you’ve been friends with for years still can’t quite get it right. And you’ve both just given up altogether.
11. Someone will ask you if they can call you by something “generic.” To which you will give them a death glare and curtly respond, “No.”
12. Someone has definitely asked you if they could “shorten” your name. Even when you already use the short form of your name.
13. You have legitimately considered going by your middle name (if it’s not quite as unique). But you always decide against it because it just wouldn’t be the same.
14. You meet someone with an equally unique name and you don’t know whether to feel a sense of comradery or to to engage in a verbal battle over whose name is actually more unique.
15. You’ll try to teach Siri how to pronounce your name properly, to no avail. Your own phone can’t even get your name right.
16. Having to commit to spending the rest of your life correcting every autocorrect of every new piece of technology you obtain.
17. And you can forget entirely about any personalized products with your name on it. No one is ever going to share a Coke with [insert your name here]. 🙁
By Kovie Biakolo